In building the best version of yourself, we must accept that your self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-love, firstly, is not that great. We must accept that we don’t feel good enough, we don’t see our self as good enough, and we don’t do enough for the SAKE of ourselves. We constantly compare our lives with others. And we constantly want to change the world. But we must take time, to look within our hearts and minds. Comparing has been done since we started gaining an education in the system. For example, we compare our grades, our progress with others. From this meter, the “good enough” meter-our perfection standard is formed. Even if you think you have good self-esteem, check it. Is it honestly healthy? Because we have to constantly work on it, mold it, and cherish it. It’s not enough to just say, “I love myself” because the issue is we want to be perfect. We might not see it as the truth, but deep down inside, we wish we were perfect. But what is perfect? Free from flaws. How do we measure flaws? By what the public standards are. The media, social and mass, have standards of beauty, success, and intelligence, and we constantly strive to meet those standards. But why do we wish we were perfect? Because we want to be what will gain the most positive attention and praise. We want, want, and want. Don’t deny this truth, accept it. Once we accept, we can learn to let it all go.
As we accept that we don’t feel good enough and that we want to be the standard of perfection, the second part in improving our self-esteem is releasing, releasing, releasing. We must release our wants, our perceptions, our desires, even our goals. We must release our anger and our fears. We must be open-minded, and break down what we know all like the statues going down during protest and just “be” self. Use positive affirmations, such as “I am worthy,” and remove yourself from anything that makes you feel less worthy. One thing I did was removing people I constantly compared myself with from my social media timelines.
In breaking these “standards of perfection” that define our humanness in today’s society, we must work with ourselves and help ourselves BY DOING WHAT GIVES US MOST JOY. In this process, we search and explore and we share with others our own talents and skills. Also notice, what are your values? If you don’t know…it’s okay. It’s a learning process. Basically, what QUALITIES do you believe in and strive to live by? Many self-esteem tips use affirmation language to help boost your mood, to feel good about yourself. But I’m telling you to work with what you know and understand, first. BREAK IT ALL DOWN! Don’t “try” to change who you are or just “try” a new hobby. Of course, you should try, but question yourself in the process. Question everything that you are. As you release these questions, ask why? For instance, deep inside I want everything to look perfect. If something doesn’t look a specific way, I destroy the whole thing. I started an old hobby of drawing, and after three sketches I ripped them out from my sketchbook and felt defeated. But after realizing I had destroyed the binding of the sketchbook, I took a deep breath and asked “why did I rip out what would become progress?” Obviously, my answer was because I didn’t feel good enough. But I took the sketches out from the garbage and forgave myself. Then I asked why did this feeling of defeat come to me? I’ve always felt not good enough, or last in progress because of my disability. Then I asked, why do I do what I do? I didn’t know the answer. Yet in the process of improving your self-esteem, we must learn to forgive our shortcomings and praise our strengths, even if that strength is just forgiveness. We will have feelings in ourselves when we think of our past, our mistakes, our regrets. But when they pop up, just label them as “feelings”. If you don’t know how you feel, write your thoughts down. Understand, your feeling are not you. They do not define who you are. But as we embark on what makes us feel good, we must tackle and handle the old “bad feelings” and release it to become more enlightened.
And In the process of building our self-esteem, an important question pops up, why do I want what I want to feel good? Answer: to feel accomplished. To feel I am doing something with my life. Here’s the funny part though. What is that “something”? Why does it have to be measured? Because we want attention. We do it all for attention. Stop trying to be like others, richer, more famous, more successful. So we build your self-awareness by existing in the present moment, realizing you just need to be. Be still, be present, be alive, be aware. Again, we must find and use what helps us feel good deep inside to become a better version of our “self”. Sitting and meditating has never worked for me. So I write. It is my meditation. It feels good, it feels progressive. In other words, Just be the child within in you, do what you remember makes you feel good from a child. My childhood finding was drawing and writing. It is the meditation that works for me, that leads to self-awareness of my habits, my shortcomings, and my behaviors. This is because when we focus on doing what we like, the contrast of how we react when things don’t go our way can be very revealing. When I realized I ripped my sketches out, I noticed my behavior but didn’t react even more negatively. I let it go and vowed to not react in a way that makes me feel worse. I say things like, “it’s okay, just be…” or “just have fun with it…you are having fun,” or “you are doing your best,” “you are good at drawing”. We show ourselves compassion, which is very much necessary in today’s day and age. Even in In the common world of social media, even as you take selfies, sit with it, and reflect. After you take a selfie, write your thoughts down. How does it make you feel? Why do you take selfies? And For whom am I taking selfies? Get a deeper understanding of yourself.
As you use your interests to observe what makes you feel good or bad, you can ask the question How can I use my knowledge, my skills to help others? Build again your self-esteem by helping others. Spread knowledge, spread wisdom. YOU ARE YOUR OWN STUDENT AND TEACHER AT THE SAME TIME. Join a group on Facebook, to communicate with others and learn from them. Give yourself some attention by learning something new and giving something to teach in return. Ask others out of curiosity, how they paint, draw, or cook, or ask for feedback. People are willing to respond! You can also go on YouTube and learn something new by watching the tons of millions of tutorials available. As you increase and share your knowledge, say “I am good enough,” thus building up your sense of self-love. And if you wish to share your knowledge and wisdom with others, know that what you share has contributions to improve other people’s lives. Even if you aren’t going to share a coarse, or video, record yourself or write the steps down to record your progress for your own confidence. We show ourselves love by learning, developing, and growing. Let go of failure, criticism, and perfectionism by just having fun with it. Have fun with life, even in the most boring or difficult of times. Know that you are compassionate deep inside, loving, and heartfelt. Know that you can contribute to this world and that you are here for a purpose.
Self-esteem, self-love, and self-awareness are all intertwined. But when we focus on each aspect individually, they are at the core of becoming the best version of yourself. When we remember to focus on just the “three selves”, we improve our wellbeing unlike ever before because we are focusing on what is within. As the world changes on the outside, with pandemics and protests, we must remember to focus on what is inside of our bodies. We must remember to see what we can work on inside of ourselves to help the world change through our eyes and ears. When our inner being improves, it causes a ripple effect as we spread our understanding. In fact, we improve the mental health of society as a whole and for our future generations. If after reading this, these steps still seem too complicating, just ask the simple one question: “what am I doing to improve my self-esteem, my self-awareness, and my self-love?” and a whole new outlook of life and people can begin. These three facets need constant attention. Improving yourself to become the greatest version of yourself is teamwork. While “becoming the best version of yourself” seems like a one-man job, the results are meant to improve humanity as a whole. They are not only meant to help you but the people who share this world with you too. Start with yourself, to end with helping others!
