“…Existence is made of the stuff called happiness. Just look! – can’t you see these trees?…so happy. Can’t you see the birds singing?…so happily. Happiness has nothing special in it. Happiness is a very ordinary thing.”
Osho
Happiness is like a river. It always flows. And it flows within each and everything. Whether you see it or not. Whether you feel it or not. When we are happy we wish to maintain that moment of happiness for as long as possible. And when we are sad, we will do anything in our power to release the pain to bring in more moments of happiness. But the thing with sadness is that it’s under our control. Happiness too is in our control. Sometimes we feel it isn’t because of the circumstances we are put in. We compare our lives with those we think who have it better, or we worry that we are not good enough or that we’re not strong enough or that we will fail or lose things. But to remember that we are put in these circumstances not to be punished but to learn to appreciate what we have can make us see the happiness that just exists by being alive. When we appreciate the experiences we inevitably must face, we appreciate life more and we continue to move forward in hope. Moving with hope not just for ourselves, but for all beings.
Living in the 21st century, each day I struggle with the fact that I have to put more effort into the work that I do which others can do very easily because of my disability. Though not new in the 21st century, cooking is a very tedious task for me. Even tying shoelaces is difficult for me (and I’m almost in my 30’s! haha). And driving as well. I do not think I will ever consider driving something I will want to learn. And that’s okay. With shoelaces, I find that I will have to buy shoes that don’t have laces because I just don’t want to deal with the hassle of tying shoelaces with one hand. With cooking at least, I’m more explorative. I find certain techniques and tools that would make the task of creating a meal for myself easier. And those tools and techniques luckily exist. Having to do these steps seems tedious at times, but in actuality, it can be rather fun. In this interesting process, I learn to depend on myself to live and enjoy my life as difficult as it may be. But to me, my life is rather exciting. And I am grateful.
In exploring how to maneuver simple everyday tasks that most do not think about, I become happy because I can explore and become creative. You are not meant to face this world alone, however, happiness cannot fully depend on others. The procedure of exploration breeds happiness in and of itself. Living with a permanent disability I’ve realized this because I have to think of how to do things myself that others sometimes cannot help me with. They are not going through my experience, and they don’t have to. It’s my responsibility. When I try things on my own, sometimes it will go well, sometimes it will not. Sometimes I laugh at myself, sometimes I want to break down and cry. And if it gets frustrating but I have no choice but to get back up and live my life. But in learning to fail or succeed in the endeavor, and getting back up again regardless, I can share stories and techniques that maybe can put a smile or a feeling of awe in someone else’s life. Even if just briefly. And this enough brings me joy.
Everyone is unique, but at the same time, we all share the same longing for everlasting happiness. But like the river, the currents of life are ever-changing. I’m not ashamed about my disability, but it makes achieving certain things rather complicated which can lead me to go through a lot of not so pleasant emotions. But I just have to do my best and put as much effort I can into it if I want to try. If it doesn’t work as much as I try, I move forward. Learning from my mistakes and learning something new hopefully in the process, I can be what I am meant to be in this world in hopes of managing the river efficiently.
Today’s modern view of happiness practically depends on others or material things outside of us. While it is has become normal to depend on others for our happiness, again, it is not necessary, and sometimes we can forget this. Our happiness can only be found within, and the only thing we need to do is share it with others. To know to depend on myself for my happiness breeds inner strength, love, and courage among other important divine qualities. Over the years I have learned that relationships I have learned, require both individuals to be whole and independent by themselves, always learning from each other as they choose to stay committed and happy together while remaining respectful. This in effect can make a loving relationship everlasting and flowing in abundant happiness.
Of course, I want to be treated like a normal human being and be pushed to continue learning despite certain challenges I face without pressure to be perfect. But sometimes I get into the habit of wanting to be “perfect”. Sometimes I get the feeling that I am too bothersome or that I ask for too much help. So I try my best to avoid asking for too much so as not to be considered lazy or incapable of doing anything at all. I do not want to push people away because of my disability, which is an inner fear I admit, I still have. But in this situation, I forgive myself and accept who I am. Whoever loves and accepts me, I am grateful to them and will do all that is in my power to give them as much respect and esteem in return.
While not everything can be done on your own, and it’s okay to ask for help if you feel you truly need it. And if you take a leap of faith, it will lead you to discover incredible things and meet incredible people. And if unexpected, it can be truly rewarding. All in all, making it a beautiful mosaic of your experience here on Earth, which should be a happy one. No doubt about it. No matter your circumstances, you are meant to be happy. That is the reason you were born. We are here to find your inner happiness even if it’s by yourself and share it with others to spread more happiness.
